I think Shame might have a place in our emotional repertoire. Not necessarily to make us feel badly about ourselves but maybe to serve as a signalling emotion telling us when we went just a bit too far.

Shame reminds us about the need for humility, for apologies, and for a change of course.

But what is the appropriate response when Shame is so clearly lacking in another? When is it our business, so to speak?

I don't have a great answer for myself, let alone anyone else. But I cannot help but to think we are all each other's business. Isn't that what it means to live in community with others?

What kind of world would it be if we did not care for -- and about -- each other? If we did not consider the welfare of other people our business?

When Shame prompts a course correction, there is no need for any of us to say a thing -- we all deserve the space to be imperfect human beings.

But thank goodness there are people who are courageous enough to file a formal Complaint when Shame is so lacking that rules seem optional -- a Complaint not submitted with malice but with a genuine desire to make things fair and just for all members of the community.

Bravo to the Courageous One.

Kudos to those who handled the Complaint with grace.

And for the Rule Breaking Gaslighter whose response was to tell the Courageous One to Drop Dead -- here's your sign:

How I despise people who seek to gain advantage by repeatedly doing things people with integrity would never even consider.


by Cindy Heintzberger on Sun, 04/30/2017 - 10:01

All I can say is amen!!!!!

by Kathy L on Sun, 04/30/2017 - 13:47

For shame!

by CA Heidi :-) on Mon, 05/01/2017 - 16:46

I don't know what happened, but I agree, shame has some instructive properties, if used properly.


Post new comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.
Contact © 2011 Website built and maintained by G.Sontag.