Mothers' Day

We won't sully this day with the soap opera -- Episode Three will appear tomorrow. Instead, today we rest our hearts and minds on Relationships.

Mother's Day - like Life - is a mixed bag. For new moms like Bethany, it is a day to celebrate entering a most sacred space where you discover that pure and unconditional love exists.

And for others, it is a reminder of those who are missing. Like my mom, or your mom - or your child.

For some, Mother's Day is a stark reminder that their own mother was so broken that her shattered pieces caused trauma to her children; those grieve for the mother they deserved to have.

Others face Mother's Day wishing they were mothers, grieving children that have only existed in their hopes and dreams.

And so what do you say on Mother's Day? Happy Mother's Day or I am so sorry?! Or both? Life is one crazy mixed up emotional experience, isn't it?

I miss my mom and everything she was and could have been throughout my life. Here she is just four years before she died. She is the YOUNG one in the photo.

But time does change things and while that loss never ends, it becomes easier to hold the mixed emotions of Mother's Day and to celebrate that yes, I had have a mom. She doesn't live where I can see her but she isn't really gone. 

But wait -- I am not just a daughter without a mom. I am also a mother and a step-mother and a grandmother(!) -- wow. So many relationships to acknowledge and experience and so on. No wonder this is a mixed-up holiday! 

Choose your word, Friends: ________________ Mother's Day.

2 comments

by keli on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 10:42

My most beloved title, and Joy

by CA Heidi :-) on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 13:03

I have come to accept (edging towards embracing) that mostly everything is more than just one thing. Mother's Day. I love to celebrate the role of mother in the family. I love my mom, despite our occasional differences, and have loved watching her blossom as a Nana (I always tell our kid, "the woman you call "Nana,' is not the woman who raised me!"). I love being a mom, though in a less traditional way, being the bonus mom for our boy. But there are tugs on my heart strings. I wish we could have had more children. It smarts when people imply that I am not a 'real,' mom. I hate that I also think that, too. I feel sad that there is a whole part of womanhood that I will not experience. But that is how it is, sometimes. And for all of that, there is so much I do have. So it all exists together, the joy, the sadness, all of it. Poignant.

I am having a lovely day, but it's tinged with sadness, too. A colleague of my husband committed suicide last night, and that fact has rocked our collective world. It's sort of taken over the day, as a sentinel event should -- it needs to have a lot of time and attention. It deserves all the time to grieve. So we make room for that today, even as we pour lots of love on our Mamas.

Happy Mother's Day, Mamas. This world wouldn't spin half as well without you in it. <3

~H

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